ugh...diet

I have completly screwed up my diet. i have been eating crap and it seems like i cant stop. i feel like im in a downward spiral. food has been scarce and i ha e been stresses and seem to use food as my crutch. i just finished downing a pack of peanut m&ms that were suppose to be my sons...ugh. i gotta buy him some more:( i feel like such a looser as right now i am trying to talk myself into not eating pasta...what is wrong with me? how do i stop this? i need to make sure i have food prepped. my son had surgery this morning. i have been eating crappy for a week now and am gaining weight:( i think im gonna take my cheat meal away for the next few weeks since i have went so far off track gonna be hard to do but its gotta be done. back to the ole diet. i gotta goal and i am not gonna let jonathan p deaver win over my physique. i gotta be happy with myself:) back to the game plan:) that means for diner its gonna be chicken and zucchini. meal #7 is gonna be no carb protein pancake too!! i can do this i can do this!!! i will do this:) think lori hardner-monica brant-alicia marie- jessica paxon-putnam.....i wont let food win...i feel like a far girl..lmao...starting weigh 129.0