good morning!! I woke up in a fowl ass mood today because jon left me yet another note saying he could not get up with camille...blah blah blah..he was tired blah blah blah and all that jazz. kids woke me up at 5am!!!! eek. its saturday too:( I have had meal one...protein pancake...having a low carb day today bc i had so many fats yesterday:)). I am now cooking my post workout meal...fish. hehe who in the world cooks fish at 730am??? lol. I am having my yummy coffee. I am hooked on walmart brand espresso coffee with torani syrup in it...FANTASTIC!!!! I am hoping to get some things done today. I am also hoping that jon stays somewhere else tonight he is draining my posative energy...always!! I am seriously notsure I wanna be in this marriage anymore. no sex. we dont have fun together and to be quite honest i dont even wanna have sex. im sick of him. he drinks to much i wanna be with someone with out a drinking problem:) I also don't wanna be alone and that is the only reason i am with him...fear of rejection from someone else. plus its comfortable and I have three kids and no career. who's gonna want that?? I am working on saying more posative things but have not acomplished that yet. like this morning i said my kids ruined my life i did not mean that at all. life is what i choose it to be. I can choose to sit in the wading pool, i can choose to go downstream or i can choose to make it hard and go up stream. i AM CHOOSING TO GO UP STREAM AGAINST THE CURRENT AND MAKE IT HARD ON MYSELF, THAT IS A CHOICE I MADE ALL ON MY OWN...I AM NOW GOING TO CHOOSE ANOTHER WAY... I started this blog as part of a new process and otlet if you will to the new me.... these are the changes i will make: 1)be a more positive person(try to not say negative or hurtful things out loud and oush them out of my head)
2)be thankful for all that i have
3)realize that nonone is perfect and everyone makes mistakes
4)allow sources love to flow through me
5)start an online buisness involved in the fitness industry
6)spend time with each child individualy everyday
until later xoxo
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