not feeling it...

I am so not feeling it today...i really was exhausted this morning during my cardio session and my energy has been super low all day:-( I really wanna eat a bad meal, some dessert and let my body rest for the day. I am worn.... but im not going down like that:) i am gonna eat and FORCE myself to the gym and FORCE myself through my workout/cardio and come home and feed kiddos:) im really gonna have to FORCE myself though cos i am exhausted....i really want some peanut butter and snacks ....boooo so i ate 3 pkgs of crackers-pb and i had 1 serving teddy grahamns and went to gym and worked out...lol. I ate my post workout meal and am now craving some oreos like something serious....eek. this is redicilous maybe today i should lay off and allow myself some bad foods. fuck it. im not perfect nor am in contest prep...yet as i was eating hersheys kisses and such my son looks at me and says is it cheat day today?? GUILTY i feel like a failure:( I am so ashamed and feel like a complete douchebag:( ok so that my innocent son saying that to me stopped me in my tracks. i need to set a good example of deication and never never never giving up. so i fucked up. owell. its over i cant fix it but i can move fowrd and learn from it. I am over the eating crap for a while and back on the plan. immediate as soon as i go out i must have gum. thats what has been saving me:) also i am not gettin my reward now. i screwed up....it starts again tomorrow im gonna have my full fat pb/protein mixyure and junk and then back on plan guess this was cheat day afterall...